”We touched our medals at the same time. We didn’t say any more about them, but they became an instant bond between us. I wondered what she did to earn hers. Without a word, she slid the book out from under my arm, and I let her. Father Ransom’s Miraculous Medal Girls didn’t have any secrets.“Why’re you looking at this?” she asked me, flipping it open.“I don’t know anything.”“What do you want to know?”“Just what stuff is called.”“Have you ever done anything?”“You mean with a boy?”“Or anything.”“No,” I lied. I was very aware of my panties, which at the moment were wrapped around my knees. Very nonchalantly, while Lisa leafed through the book, I propped my chin on my hand, pretending I was looking at it too, and with my other hand under the table, I tried to work my panties down my legs, but they were too tangled up, and they wouldn’t drop.Lisa had the book open to a drawing of a vagina that had all the parts labeled. She traced one finger around what was called the labia, and then down. You said 'Markham, if I survive this, I've going tofuck you over.' Right?" Did you ever watch the tapes?" Tapes? There were tapes?" Come on, Barry. The cameras are everywhere except the privacy areas." But Miluko. I didn't need cameras to check on you, I was there every day,waiting, hoping, agonizing for the day you'd wake up and come back towork. When you did, when my prayers were answered, I came back to myoffice and left you to finish the SkyCube without interference."My voice dropped to a disconsolate whisper as I realized what I'd justadmitted. "Oh God, Miluko, that must have disappointed you. I'm so sorry." So am I, Barry. If you'd looked at the tapes, you'd know that I neversaid the word 'over.' I only said that if I survived, I planned to fuckyou. You -- my closest friend."All that other stuff, the sex ... the inept medics with their fumblinghands. Just practice, just steps toward my promise. Is that clear? Or do Iactually have to say I love you?"I blinked at her. I must have.
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